What are the components of paraphrasing

Active listening: Communicate more effectively with the 3-step technique

"Nobody would speak a lot in societies if they were aware of how often they misunderstand others."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)


Successful communication is not a coincidence, but a conscious process of active conversation. We communicate with other people all day long, but we often don't know anything about the laws of communication. "Active listening" is a basic requirement for successful communication. Therefore we explain the here to you 3-step techniqueto learn active listening.

Ask yourself the question: "What do you want from your communication partner?"

The answer could be: that the person you are talking to shows real interest in what you are saying. He listens to you carefully and tries to understand what you are telling him.

And so it is for most people. It's about active listening: giving the other person the feeling that they are the most interesting person far and wide for you at this moment. You give it to him full attention.

Are you a curious, empathetic, open and tolerant person? Then you are certainly already listening well and often intuitively doing everything right when it comes to active listening. However, you can learn active listening with the following steps.

5 prerequisites for active listening

  • 1. Concentration on the interlocutor.
  • 2. Sympathy on what the interlocutor says.
  • 3. Empathy for the body language of your counterpart.
  • 4. Impartiality: Free yourself from (pre-) judgments and hear what is actually being said.
  • 5. Inquirieshow something is meant.

The 3-step technique for active listening

1. Absorbing listening

You say little or nothing yourself and concentrate on what your communication partner says.

Through eye contact, attention sounds and that Reflect the emotions of the person you are speaking to you show that you are actively participating in the conversation. Of course you say something from time to time. This type of listening works very well when the communication partner is very emotional.

He just got angry about something or experienced something very exciting. ("My boss has just offered me the position of ......"). Then just listen absorbingly until the other got rid of everything. By deep inhalation and exhalation you can calm down and de-stress your counterpart here. Your deep breathing is carried over to the person you are talking to, he becomes calmer and more relaxed.

EXTRA: Learn mindfulness in 7 steps

2. Paraphrase & repeat in your own words

At the "Paraphrase" do you repeat information or arguments of the communication partner in your own words. It is best to formulate the Question formto enable a correction if necessary. ("Did I understand you correctly that ...?, Did you mean ...?, Did you mean this ...?") That Repeating helps eliminate misunderstandings and you gain time to think about a good answer in peace.

If someone tells you something that you absolutely disagree with, this technique can be yours Better control of emotions. "So you think that working women neglect their children?"

If you also have your body language and facial expressions under control in such cases (derailment of facial expressions, horror in your voice): Respect!

EXTRA: 7 types of questions that will take you further

3. Verbalize & reproduce in your own words

Here you go to the emotional, hidden messages of the conversation a. In your own words you express the presumed moods and emotions of the interlocutor. This only applies if the conversation situation allows it. Pay attention to the Nuances.

It is not what is said that is interesting, but above all how it is said.

This refers to the tone of voice, the way of speaking and the speed of speaking. It is important that this is your perception and that you are ready to accept corrections and contradictions. Put it softer: "I have the impression that ...", "It seems to me as if ...", "I have the feeling as if ...".

Good communication means: the person you are talking to can say the same thing to you without you being irritated or even offended. Active listening is a basic requirement for successful personal communication. Just apply the technique and you'll be amazed at how your conversations will change for the better.

Book tip from the editorial team: Solve conflicts creatively

How to deal with stubborn donkeys and insulted liver sausages

Publication date: January 13, 2017
Author: Ursula Wawrzinek
Paperback: 188 pages - Publisher: Klett-Cotta
Rating: 4.5 stars on Amazon

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Susanne Blake has 15 years of experience in the areas of export, logistics, insurance, marketing and sales. Has worked as a trainer for international companies since 1997. Since 2002 coaching by phone in German and English. It shows executives, individual entrepreneurs and entire teams how to win and lead people with clear communication. Contact: www.the-individual-touch.com.