Should I stop attending my group?

Don't want to stay with grandma / join a breakaway group now?

Question:

Hello,
My daughter is 2 years and 1 month and was always happy to be with her grandma (my mother) two days a week because I have to work. Shortly before her 2nd birthday, she didn't want to go any more. Although nothing happened. Since I have to work, I cannot look after them myself. And have often left behind a crying child. Grandma says that crying stops after a while and then she is satisfied all day long. Only says "go home" from time to time. Grandma then says, not until this evening and she is satisfied with that. The thing about crying has gotten better now. She only cries for a moment. It has now turned out that I only work 2 half days. Although I feel a lot better. She likes to stay with her father without me. But when I tell her that I'm going to work, she says: "Don't go grandma". Sometimes I have the impression she realizes that I am worried and says that on purpose, because since I no longer make it a topic, it's getting better. I have already registered her for September with a group of children without parents twice a week. The first time I stayed there, but she didn't want to play with the other children, I always had to be there. I have the impression she's afraid of them. Even when we meet other children privately, she is only with me, has everything taken away, or walks away from the other children and plays alone. I always go with them first and then it only works, when I slowly withdraw and she notices that, she comes back to me immediately.

Now my question is, should I unsubscribe you from the group? And what do you think of the behavior towards the other children?
I can only have my mother look after her during my working hours and I don't know how to stop working because I don't want to do anything wrong that cannot be corrected later.

Lg

by tinamia25 on 09/06/2011, 10:36 pm

 

Answer to:

Don't want to stay with grandma / join a breakaway group now?

Hello tinamia25
Since your daughter is probably in a phase of strangling, I recommend that you do not leave her without an already trusted caregiver.
If you have the impression that your grandma is under-challenged, I advise you to look for a parent-child (play) group at the times when you can also be there.

A group of children without a mother is probably still too big and confusing for your daughter, so that she loses her sense of orientation there.

If the "Don't go grandma" is only brief and to say goodbye to you, affectionately and firmly point out that there is no other way, because you have to work, but will then pick up your daughter "immediately".

If the rejection of Om a greater, please think twice about getting your daughter used to a childminder in your presence who will look after at least one other child.

Greetings and see you soon?

by Christiane Schuster on 09/07/2011

Answer to:

Don't want to stay with grandma / join a breakaway group now?

Hello, we had exactly the same situations with our daughter. It came overnight and disappeared again after about 6 weeks. It unsettled us all until I realized that the more I get involved in her discussions and "don't want to go grandpa" phases, the stronger she defended herself. Today I briefly tell her that I am going to Work MUST and she MUST go to Grandpa and that works in 99% of cases.

by Esther2006 on 09/06/2011

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