Can you have friends with a former lover?

Retroactive jealousy - or: The thing with his ex

Being a little jealous is normal - maybe even healthy. Because jealousy can very simply mean: You are aware that your partner could meet someone with whom it is better. This, in turn, can lead to you appreciating your counterpart more, treating them better and not becoming complacent. Jealousy, which by the way is widespread, can so be a helpful feeling. Nevertheless, you should not forget that you are in this relationship for a reason, you made a conscious decision for each other after all. So there is usually nothing to worry about.
But there is also another, less helpful (but possibly just as widespread) type of jealousy besides the pathological, possessive one: the “retroactive jealousy”, ie “retroactive jealousy”. Affected people are jealous of the partner's past, or more precisely, of previous relationships and sexual experiences - even when nothing really works anymore. In the case of a slight expression, this means that you occasionally check the Instagram account of the ex-girlfriend if you are bored. Or you are curious about what your friend and your ex were talking about on their last friendly coffee date. Strong expressions, on the other hand, express themselves through compulsive, obsessive and destructive behavior. For example, you scroll through all Posts, comments and photos that you can find online and constantly compare yourself with your past love affair. Perhaps you hole up your partner too and want to know every little detail.
In the following five women share their personal experiences. The people we talked to about their retroactive jealousy wanted to remain anonymous.